What’s for Dinner?

Top 10 Responses I’d Most Like to Give (but don’t) to the Question, “What’s for Dinner?”

My kids, like many benevolent dictators the worldwide, love to ask the question, “What’s for dinner?” When they were younger, they used to ask me this right as they sat down at the table. Fine. The answer was easy at that point.

Then, as they got a little older, the question popped up around 4 p.m. Ok. That was reasonable. Dinner was in the near future, and they wanted to prime their tummies. But gradually they started asking earlier in the day—like noon—which was a bit of a problem. At noon, I’m thinking about lunch or still full from breakfast and usually don’t have a clue about dinner yet.

My lack of dinner planning zeal has apparently triggered some sort of food-stress in my children, especially my daughter, because now she asks me, “What’s for dinner?” first thing in the morning. And sometimes, she asks while I put her to bed the night before.

Is it wrong that I get slightly annoyed that my kids expect to eat? Like every day? Probably. But the constant asking of the question—the implication that it is my responsibility alone to plan, prepare and execute all daily meals—raises my blood pressure. It brings out my sarcastic, un-Mommy-like side that usually only comes out on girls nights or when someone overachieves via Pinterest. I’m not particularly proud of this, but there it is.

So each night as I tuck my kids into bed, mere hours after the last dinner, and they ask me, “What’s for dinner tomorrow, Mommy?” I dream of saying something snarky. Or of covering their sweet little mouths with duct tape. Most of the time, I don’t. But here are my Top 10 Responses I’d Most Like to Give (but don’t) to the Question, “What’s for Dinner?”

10. Haggis. Go look it up.

9. Why don’t you tell me?

8. You’ll get nothing and like it.

7. What? I can’t hear you. What? I can’t hear you. (Keep repeating.)

6. Your face.

5. Ask Daddy.

4. No habla ingles.

3. Who can think about dinner at a time like this?! (Then run screaming from the room).

2. You just had dinner last night.

And the no. 1 thing I’d like to say when my kids ask me, “What’s for dinner?”

1. Who are you and why do you keep calling me Mommy?