A Long Time Coming for Love

Love is worth the wait for this long-distance couple who will wed in September.

For Paula Neese and John “J.B.” Loewenstein Sr., age and distance are no obstacles. Although Paula, 61, lives in Columbia and works in Kansas City, and J.B., 69, lives in St. Louis, the couple’s love and determination have made the relationship work.

After being divorced for nine years, Paula’s relationship with J.B. was an unexpected romance.

“It’s been interesting for me because I was pretty happy being single, and my kids were all doing well,” Paula says. “I just figured that at that point in my life, I probably wasn’t going to meet anybody.”

But when mutual friends thought Paula and J.B. would be a great fit, they arranged for the two of them to meet. And they were right: J.B. was Paula’s perfect match.

“They were both not married at the time, and another friend and I were talking one day, and something just clicked,” longtime friend Vicky Weimholt says. “They both had careers in the human services field and helping professions, and that seemed like a pretty good start.”

From there, the plan was set in motion for Paula and J.B. to connect.

“We thought it would be great if they could just meet each other,” Vicky says. “I don’t know if I thought about marriage at the time. I think what I was maybe hoping is that they would be good company for each other.”

“Having a person that is a great companion makes it worth it to us to make an effort to go back and forth. We’ve been basically living on I-70.” — Paula Neese

Paula and J.B. hit it off right away. The distant pair began getting to know each other through phone calls and text messaging before officially meeting in April 2013.

When Paula took a trip to St. Louis to visit her daughter, she and J.B. decided to meet. The couple had their first official date walking around the Botanical Gardens, eating at the Boathouse and strolling through Forest Park. They’ve been together ever since.

“It’s just kind of amazing that these friends thought, ‘Oh, I think Paula and J.B. would really like each other; we should introduce them,’ and that we would enjoy each other,” Paula says.

Despite the distance, the couple takes turns visiting each other on the weekends.

“From the very beginning, we made the effort to see each other,” Paula says. “Having a person that is a great companion makes it worth it to us to make an effort to go back and forth. We’ve been basically living on I-70.”

Paula and J.B., a University of Missouri grad, regularly meet in Columbia, where they walk around J.B.’s old stomping grounds on campus or through downtown Columbia. But even when they’re apart during the week, they still make each other a priority.

“Being away from one another has its challenges,” Paula says. “But in today’s day and age, lots of texting and phone calls make for a lot of good conversation.”

And age does have its perks.

“A benefit of being older is that you know yourself pretty well,” Paula says. “What maybe as a younger person would have been more difficult, I’m more willing to do it and know what’s more important.”

Now, more than a year since they met, the pair is set to wed in a small ceremony in St. Louis on Sept. 13. After the wedding, the couple plans to eventually buy a home together, a long-awaited move to finally bring them closer together.

“It’s just encouraging that even at this age, you can still fall in love,” Paula says. “If I’m an example of what it means to fall in love when you’re older, I’m fine with that.”

“I’m so happy for both of them,” Vicky says. “They’re both wonderful people.”