Smoking ban do-gooders under delusion they are conscience of community

The smell of wood smoke is beginning to season the air as fall prepares to yield to winter. However, another odor permeates. It emanates from the hallowed halls of the Daniel Boone Building and is fouling the crisp fall air.

The Columbia City Council yielded to a publicly funded movement to ban smoking here in the Green Land of Nod. They saved us from ourselves. Long known as a community of progressives, we have again demonstrated that we are the champions of “the end justifies the means.” Fairness, logic and liberty were dealt a blow as our council virtually banned tobacco smoking from any public place.

During his campaign for reelection at a Columbia Chamber of Commerce candidate forum, Chris Janku stated that he did not support the new proposed smoking regulations. I suppose his conscience was assuaged to a degree by the goofy language added near midnight to the now-enacted ordinance. Maybe a recall petition would clear his thinking.

Apparently, it is reasonable to make accommodations for nonsmokers on outdoor patios but not reasonable to make accommodations indoors for smokers. Further, private, not-for-profit organizations formed before April 1, 2006, and “not primarily engaged in preparing and serving food or alcoholic beverages by the drink” seem to be exempt. What group fits this confounded definition? Is this a bone for the country clubs?

If so, my supposition would be that their bottom lines will improve as members spend more time at the club and less in public venues. Smoking during theatrical performances is exempt if it is a part of the show. Are the levels of first- and second-hand smoke acceptable in this situation? I thought this was a health issue, not an issue about theatrical freedom. What about personal freedom?

Our brands of do-gooders are self-righteous souls who live under the narcotic delusion that they are the conscience of our community. They make exceptions to fit their playtime but not mine. In my opinion, their concentration in Columbia is akin to the goose population in Stephens Park, just a few too many in a small place. Maybe we should sponsor a roundup and relocation program. Surely scientists will soon discover these folks to be a new breed of hypocrites: “homo sapien goose poopalous.”

Lorah Steiner, director of the Columbia Convention and Visitors Bureau, should promote this new discovery as yet another reason to make our fair community a tourist destination.