What’s Love Got to Do with It?   

The art of giving and receiving love.

I will confess — I do appreciate a good Hallmark movie. I like to get caught up in a story of romance occasionally. I am all for celebrating love with a bouquet of roses, a box of truffles, and a glass of Moscato. I enjoy feeling valued and treasured.   

In fact, last month my husband and I celebrated 35 years of marriage. In just a week or two, we will all have the opportunity to celebrate Valentine’s Day. These are special times set aside to give and receive love in tangible ways, whether that includes flowers and chocolates or not!   

But what do we do about love the other 365 days of the year?   

Around Christian Fellowship, we say, “Make love your aim.” Those are not just four nice-sounding words, but a core belief that love should permeate everything we do, all the time.  

This commitment to love comes from God himself and is expressed in a well-known Bible verse that we often take for granted. John 3:16 reminds us:  

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.   

It is simple, yet profound. For God so loved that he gave.   

What does that mean for us? It means that we model God’s love when we give. No matter what is going on around us, or within us, we can choose to respond with love. We can get good at giving love.   

Another well-known passage in 1 Corinthians 13 says:   

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.   

We often associate these verses with weddings, but the truth is they were an admonition given to the early church in Corinth by the apostle Paul. It is a description of more than just romantic love, but love for friends, family, our neighbors, and all of humankind.   

These verses beg the question – what would it look like for us to give love that is patient and kind? Love that never gives up, doesn’t force itself on others, doesn’t keep score? Love that looks for the best, trusts, and cares for others.   

It is an art to give love well.  

Who in your life could use a little love? Who could you intentionally help feel valued and treasured? The ideas are as endless as our brains are creative.   

This is where Gary Chapman’s love languages are helpful. Some people prefer to receive love by quality time or acts of service. Others enjoy words of encouragement or gifts. Others prefer physical touch. What works for you does not always communicate love to others.   

I wrote notes of encouragement to a few friends on Valentine’s Day and dropped them off with a bag of their favorite M&M’s. My husband, however, would prefer I give love by cleaning out his car or helping to shovel the driveway. Another friend doesn’t care what we do, she just wants to spend time together.   

Looked at more deeply, loving is the process of meeting needs. Love is experienced when someone’s needs are met. A well-placed act of love can meet a deep need for security, acceptance, significance, safety, attention, or protection – even cleaning out their car!   

And when we can love like that, we are modeling God’s giving heart.  

May you love well this Valentine’s Day and always. 

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Beth Bramstedt is the Church Life Pastor at Christian Fellowship.