‘Buffalo Turds’ and Faurot Field Memories

Buffalo … what? aka Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Jalapenos

My, how things have changed. I can remember my first trip to Faurot Field. It was 1976, and a good friend’s dad was a high school coach. In the summer, he ran a sports camp, and had an old school bus that he used to shuttle the attendees around. The bus was christened “Coach’s Coach,” and doubled as an MU Tiger football game shuttle from his home in suburban St. Louis in the fall. 

I was fortunate enough to be invited for one of the road trips, and it was truly an eye-opening experience. How cool to hang out at a real college stadium, watching Big 8 college football, back when the Tigers had the ability to be giant killers and there was no seating in the south end of the stadium. 

I remember also the phenomenon of tailgating. It wasn’t, however, as it is today. It was just as the name implies — it happened on a tailgate. You know, the back end of the family hauler of the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s — the station wagons, the ones with the vinyl wood grain side panels, that had engines big enough to pull a train. You could pack in ten people by laying on the back deck. Seat belts optional! 

Oh well, we survived, and so did the Tigers, through those many ensuing poor seasons to recently regain their national prominence.  

Anyway, back to tailgating, it was certainly in a rudimentary form back then. There were no major productions. Grills were rare, and the marketing companies hadn’t capitalized on all of the gizmos and knick-knacks that we fans are wont to purchase. It was my recollection that most tailgates consisted of “cold cut” sandwiches on Wonder Bread, maybe some mayo or yellow mustard. Some of the fancier ones may have had some cold fried chicken, or maybe some “hors d’oeuvres” such as baloney roll-ups. But the behemoth Suburbans and Excursions were not in existence to cart around half of the kitchen to prepare the sumptuous feasts of today.  

Now, many fans begin the pilgrimage at the crack of dawn to stake out their spot for the grill and pop-up tent, and as an excuse to pop a top of a cold and frosty long before it is generally considered socially acceptable. But what to do for those poor unfortunates who don’t have the time, resources, or wherewithal to pull off such an extravaganza? There’s always the option to revert to the cold cut sandwiches, but that’s a last resort. If the meat you buy has a sheen to it, if it can be sliced paper thin and has an elastic texture, it’s not really meat, but a meat product. If your salami isn’t redolent with garlic, it’s not really salami. If your cheese comes pre-wrapped, slice by slice, it ain’t cheese. 

And if your bread’s crust doesn’t have any texture, it belongs in a school lunch! If you want something to make your taste buds happy, and impress your guests, try Hoss’s Buffalo Turds! 

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Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Jalapenos 

There’s no rhyme or reason for how many to prepare. It depends on the crowd and your patience in making them!  

Ingredients

• Large fresh jalapeno peppers  
• Good country cured, smoked bacon 
• A simple filling mix is:
  ½ shredded Vermont cheddar
  ½ pulled smoked pork
  But, you can use crabmeat, olives, onions, cream cheese, sausage, — whatever sounds good!  
• Toothpicks  

Directions

1. Using rubber gloves, cut the peppers in half horizontally, leaving the stem on. Seed with a spoon. 
2. Mold filling and stuff each half, mounding a little bit. 
3. Wrap with a slice of par-cooked bacon, fastening with a toothpick.  
4. Preferably, smoke over low heat for 30-45 minutes, then crisp under broiler, or just cook in 400-degree oven 15 minutes or until bacon is crispy. 

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Jim “Hoss” Koetting is a retired restaurateur/chef who enjoys gardening, good food, good bourbon, and good friends.