… And the truth will set you free

A few years ago, I saw a comedian whose entire routine was based on “first thought wrong.” He openly stated those initial thoughts that run through our heads, the ones that often aren’t spoken because it seems inappropriate to verbalize them. For this comedian, they were wildly inappropriate and hysterically funny.
What happens, though, when there’s truth in those statements? What if the truth, stated in a nurturing way, could keep us from a lot of heartache down the road? David Sandler had a motto that he taught: “If you’re thinking it, say it — nurturingly.”

In sales, and in life, we live by invisible walls. For lots of reasons, we think that certain statements or questions are not allowed. Says who? If we siphoned off the emotion — the anger, frustration or resentment — and filtered the language into a more nurturing but effective tone, why not go there? Effective selling is about getting to the truth. Truth is the pathway to success. Salespeople try to ignore it, change it around, pretend it’s not there and hope it goes way. Why not face it? You’ll certainly be happier, you’ll most likely be more successful, and your prospects will respect you for it.
For the sake of example (and maybe a little humor), let’s examine five things you’ve always wanted to say to a prospect, but your sales manager wouldn’t let you.
1. Are you just price shopping me, or is this for real? Chances are you’ve suspected this prospect was using you for information but were too excited about making a proposal to go there. Then when you didn’t get the sale and the prospect went into hiding, you only wished you had the courage to say it earlier. Avoid this scenario by slowing down your sales process to qualify more thoroughly and do a cleaner budget step. Stop jumping to presentation too soon. How about saying instead: “Mr. Prospect, what elements besides price are important in making the right decision? Let’s pretend we agree that I’m a good fit, but we come back on the higher end of the price spectrum. What happens then?”
2. So you really couldn’t make a decision to buy, even if you wanted to? This happens when you try to sell to the wrong person. Salespeople call on the level in the company that correlates to their comfort zone, not necessarily to the decision-maker. A good rule of thumb is to never take a no from someone who can’t say yes. Don’t let weak self-confidence put you in a weak business position. Call at the top. In 2011, there’s no excuse for not knowing who that person is. However, in situations when you’re already in the middle, the best way to navigate that is with a third-party story. “Mr. Prospect, typically in companies like yours, there are multiple people involved in making the decision. I’m curious who else in your company has input in this decision?”
3. Is it me? When you’ve reached an apparent impasse with a prospect, this phrase is magic dust. Our temptation is to push and to start handling objections like an octopus in a sword fight. Instead, stop pushing, and back up a bit. It’s likely you missed something. It’s amazing what you can sell when you leave your ego outside. My suggestion: “Mr. Prospect, it seems like I’ve missed something. The product seems like a good fit based on our conversations so far. I’m curious, is it me? What have I missed?”
4. Why don’t you take this proposal and shove it? Ever been told no only to walk away frustrated because you knew in your heart it should have been you who walked away from the prospect — about six months ago? The warning signs were there. The prospect kept telling you, without words, that he didn’t value your products or services, wasn’t going to follow through on his word and wanted to beat you up on price until you bled. You knew you should have walked away, but you didn’t. This can sound as simple as, “Mr. Prospect, I’m sensing we’re just not a fit for each other.”
These are humorous examples of what practice, tact and coaching can help you learn to handle by being sincere, nurturing and honest. It’s the difference between being successful and being a doormat. However, there is one caveat: Know that the guise of honesty is never a license to take out your frustrations or feelings of inferiority on a prospect. It’s simply about mutual respect. It’s simply a good rule of thumb for selling with integrity. For that matter, it’s a good rule of thumb for life.
© 2010 Sandler Systems, Inc. Sandler Training is the global leader in sales and management training and consulting. Catherine Atkins is your exclusive authorized franchisee of Sandler Training. Visit www.savant.sandler.com or e-mail at [email protected].