Networking nightmares: Tips for productive networking
One day, I might try my hand at movie making. I have a great idea: a Monty Python-style comedy about business networking.
• The Dealer: The guy who walks in with a huge stack of business cards and the express goal of getting through the entire stack by the time dessert arrives.
• The Hawk: He or she talks to you but is constantly scanning the crowd for more prey. Not really listening, this person will quickly move on if he or she spots a better prospect across the room.
• The Herd: This is the group that attends networking functions together. They go in together, they sit together, and they leave together. If you’ve ever been stuck at a table where six of the eight are from the same company, you realize what an extreme black hole this kind of office party can be.
• The Hyenas: You know this one. You can hear their laughter from across the room. Oblivious to your discomfort, they chatter on and on about themselves and focus only on their products and services.
• The Mouse: Quiet, timid, unsure, this is someone you want to talk with but can’t. And not because you don’t try. Your smiles, encouragement and questions are met with one-word answers and uncomfortable periods of silence.
Although this would make a great movie, it’s extremely uncomfortable when played out in the real world. Trust me; I’ve been there. The good news is that there’s hope. With a little bit of attention, you can easily turn networking into a productive endeavor.
Here are a few simple tips:
Be yourself. Networking is about being genuine and sincere. If it helps, prepare a short list of simple open-ended questions to help ease into a conversation with someone. Try questions such as, “So, tell me about what you do for a living?” or “What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?” A great one is, “Describe for me what a good referral for you would look like so that I’d recognize one if I saw one.”
Practice your 30-second commercial so that you can succinctly describe what you do and the value that your work provides. Then, be confident and be curious about the other person. Forget quantity; it’s all about having quality conversations. Set a goal of having three to four quality conversations with people while you’re there. Your goal is to learn something new about the people you meet.
Don’t be Dilbert. Remember that networking is not selling. Networking is about connecting with people, and that means it’s not always about you. Focus on the person you’re talking to. Look for ways that you can help them. Some of those people might be potential customers, that’s true. Don’t force it. Others might be future friends, beneficial alliances, awesome supporters, holders of key information or an amazing someone-who-knows–someone-who. Bottom line: Everyone you talk to is a potential source. Maybe it’s your turn to be a source for someone else. If you choose to see it that way, it will revolutionize your networking success.
Follow up. I’ve preached this topic and tested it repeatedly. I’ve personally dropped my business card in many registration boxes just to see if I’d get a thank-you note, a phone call or an e-mail. Nothing. If you’re not going to follow up, then stay home. You might as well not go. If you find someone whom you’d like to have a lengthier conversation with later on, make a note on his or her business card and ask for permission to follow up later.
Remember, the bottom line of networking is to connect with people. That means networking happens anywhere. It can happen in elevators, grocery stores, soccer fields or the movies.
Speaking of which: Lights, camera, action! (Then again, maybe I should just keep my day job.)
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