Smart Thinking: Like quilting, networking is about making connections

My grandmother was a quilter. She met with a group of other ladies on a regular basis in the quilting room at church, where they stitched together pieces of cloth. The blankets they created were connected pieces of fabric, bits of other people’s lives sewn together with each piece having its own story.

I now tuck my children into bed beneath the layers that my grandmother created. Those blankets represent individual stories that, once connected, have something new and beautiful to offer.

Relationships with people operate in much the same way. Individually, we are people with our own stories and experiences. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, makes the connection between relationships by noting that our lives are a struggle for independence. There is a certain richness and individuality that comes from knowing that we can stand on our own. He is quick to point out that independence isn’t optimal, however. There is another level of growth and maturity that we would be smart to embrace: interdependence.

I believe that two things contribute most to personal growth: the books you read and the people you meet. Reflect on the aspects to your life wouldn’t have come to fruition if you hadn’t talked to someone who knew someone who knew someone.

Although some of the most beneficial networking occurs impromptu (an elevator ride, waiting in line, a child’s activity), planned networking is a powerful component to making important connections in business. A few guidelines can make this an effective part of your professional growth.

Choose networking venues based on your ideal target clientele, as well as your personal interests. You may consciously choose from among a myriad of clubs, associations, service organizations, community events, boards and charities. Once you’ve selected your venue, begin with the proper approach. Balance a desire to gain connections and referrals with a sincere effort to give in return.

Networking is about making connections, and it’s obvious that the “vultures” at a networking event are those people who circle their prey, ignoring others deemed not qualified, and talk only of themselves. If you’re looking for referrals, that’s fine. But be referable. Show genuine interest and sincere appreciation for the person you’re talking to or sitting next to at a table. Have a goal in mind of the quantity or quality of contacts you’d like to make. Find people you’ve never met before or with whom you want to talk. Ask questions. Each person can offer a connection beyond just the potential of becoming a client.

Introduce yourself with a firm handshake, learn the person’s name, and listen to what he or she says. My memory is not as reliable as it once was, so I make a habit of writing notes on the back of a person’s business card. Later, as I’m sifting through a stack of cards, those notes help me remember that individual.

Prepare a 30-second commercial so that, when asked about what you do for a living, you’re prepared with a brief but compelling answer. One or two sentences that describe the benefits you provide would be appropriate. For example, you can say, “I do sales and management training.” That’s accurate but not very compelling or memorable. A better answer would be one to which a person might be able to relate. “I help companies who are frustrated with their sales efforts” is an example. Find a statement that shares the benefits of what you do and that encourages a follow-up question inviting you to share more information.

Finally, always follow up. Everybody talks about the importance of follow-up, but those who actually execute are rare. It’s a small step that goes a long way. Write a handwritten note with another business card expressing how much enjoyed meeting them. Then, as often as possible, make a connection for that individual. The best way to be remembered fondly is to do something for someone else that they didn’t ask for or weren’t expecting.

It’s easy to look across a networking function and see an ocean of prospects. But greatness comes from identifying each person as an individual, a person to whom you have something to offer, and from whom you can learn. Networking is about making an individual connection.

It’s a bit like squares on a quilt.