Local business puts the focus on downsizing people’s homes

Across the nation, many baby boomers are entering that next stage in life-the kids are gone and the large family home is superfluous. Kim Stanley started noticing this trend at open houses she hosted as a real estate agent.

“Upscale condos attract a lot of baby boomers. Their families have left and they have huge homes, but they’re looking at making a transition in their lives. The condo lifestyle is appealing or they’re curious about it,” Stanley said.

She learned people were “frustrated because they wanted a simpler, easier lifestyle but they were overwhelmed by the amount of work they perceived it would take to make it happen,” she said.

Barbara and John, a couple that didn’t want to be identified by last name, are two such people who want to scale back.  They met Stanley at the this year’s Missouri Employers Mutual Microbusiness Fair at Stoney Creek Inn. Barbara, 70,  said she felt burdened by her possessions until meeting Stanley.

“[Stanley is] very thorough at covering all of the bases that I was worrying about,” Barbara said. “I would stay awake at night and worry, and when she came along it was like God tapped me on the shoulder.”

For her husband, John, 75, the whole process felt like a new beginning, he said. Ultimately, downsizing will help the family become “unstuck,” Stanley said. The couple plans to eventually downsize to a smaller home, Barbara said. What Stanley impressed on Barbara was that she and her husband should “do whatever has to be done  while you’re still able to and not to leave it all up to your children.”

At open houses, visitors would appear enthralled with the idea of moving to a smaller home, but Stanley could see the burden cross their faces.

“The dream that they had to have an easier lifestyle, maybe less yard, less home to heat, whatever it was, it stopped,” Stanley said. She said their roadblocks were large homes filled with 20 years of memories, or with their parent’s furnishings, or their children’s things. As one person told Stanley, her home had become “a storage company for my family’s things.”

Stanley said she knew she could help, and began her research.  She searched online, but was puzzled by the dearth of information.

“I was surprised there wasn’t a comprehensive service to help people deal with the process,” she said. “I thought, I guess I need to do this.”

And she did. Downsize My Home, which “successfully transitions to an easier lifestyle,” was launched in early October. She plugged in the domain name downsizemyhome and found someone had parked it. Through the registry, she was able to contact the woman who had registered the dot com site. The woman had no plans for the site, but Stanley said she inadvertently put it on her radar. Stanley opted for downsizemyhome.biz and is in the process of building her site.

Downsizing also comes into play for the boomer caring for an aging parent, and they have decided to either remodel their current home or move to a home with easier access to accommodate the health needs of their older parent.  These scenarios create a need for downsizing, where it’s getting rid of stuff to make room for their parents’ things or reducing the size of home.

She provides two levels of services. One level is diagnosis and planning. In both cases, she meets with the clients to discuss their goals and time frame.

“Some people want to downsize in place,” Stanley said. “They have too much clutter and they don’t know how to make a decision to free it up.”

Next she diagrams their home, measures things and conducts a comprehensive inventory. That step is important because not only does she want to know what possessions they have, but how they feel about them.

“This is a very emotional arena,” Stanley said. “It’s about stuff, but it’s about memories and conflicting feelings. Sometimes people have to prepare themselves for this process. They may be physically ready, but not emotionally.”

She walks them through questions to help discern what is important in their lives right now and how they make decisions about possessions. Then she returns with a comprehensive plan and target areas to move them forward.

That can be as far as some clients need. Others might need the next level, implementation assistance. This involves regular checking-in to help them stay on target and reach their goals. For clients with unwanted items, Stanley will assist in sorting and organizing belongings and getting rid of them. This could involve putting it on eBay, organizing garage sales or coordinating with people who do tag sales, or helping make decisions to whom to give the possessions to. If the client is unable to move around, Stanley’s service will haul things to Goodwill.

“I will do as little or as much as someone wants,” she said. Stanley said it’s important not to destroy memories in the process or trample on somebody’s history. When families are under stress, it’s hard for family members to make the decisions of what to do with belongings. Stanley learned many lessons firsthand. When her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer, they brought her live with them. After her death, it was necessary to return to the Iowa home, where she had lived for 30 years, and go through everything.

“She had so much stuff, it was such hard work physically,” Stanley said. “There were times when I went through the same box four or five times. There’s a therapy in that. You have to do this. But through that, I learned what not to do and what to do.”

She said she discovered what was really helpful in that process, as well as what she will do differently for her children so “they don’t have to go through that same level of intense work.”

Her organizational skills were honed by years of moving business centers. She and her husband, Jack, own nine Sylvan Learning Centers spread across three states. Over the last nine to 10 years, they’ve relocated many centers, and it was necessary to have a step-by-step plan.

Stanley said the slower housing market enabled her to conduct the research and launch the business. Difficult economic times actually make her business concept even stronger, she said. People who have time, and are not being forced to move immediately, have the opportunity to start thinking about downsizing. Ideally, Stanley suggests people take six months to one to two years before a move. Points to consider include the size of the house, how much stuff there is, how many family issues exist, and where do they want to move and into what kind of space.

“This is for anybody, from the time their last child is a senior in high school,” she said. “That’s when people really start to think, now what? They still have their health, their job.”

Involving a third party helps people make decisions, step away and develop a little more objectivity. Stanley said she gives clients a system for going through and making the decisions. Some day she hopes to offer her system online. For now, she’s eager to help those nearby.